Ok, I guess the signal luck doesn't last.

Haven't been able to connect to the internet for a day... well, it's ok I guess, just that I need to check mail to see if I got that job or not.

I really wanna stay here now, I realized. For the first week or so, it was just a whirlwind of things... and I wasn't sure... now, I would like to stay. I would really appreciate being able to stay, work, and learn... for a little bit.

I hope I get the job. If not, I'm going home in two weeks. Well, I'm trying to be optimistic here. It's not too bad. I've at least seen New York not as a stupid tourist but as an Asian living in Harlem buying groceries from FineFood and the little gourmet delis that are the NYC version of combinis just a lot sketchier in feel. I've walked up and down Lennox and 5th Avenue on the east side of central park from 129th to 83rd street for days to visit the Museums at their free hours and save money on transport. I've been to Times Square many times at night to do nothing but look at people. I've seen two Broadway shows, one alone. Twice people have asked me for directions and once I gave it like a local. I've walked Brooklyn Bridge. Been to Washington. Seen Sanaa's museum. Seen all the bigger museums and galleries. I actually really like the Guggenheim. Newfound appreciation for Frank Lloyd Wright. Not much feeling about the Sanaa one, but it was pretty nice. I realize that I don't like some of the 'modern art' these days after I've been to the MoMA. Some of them are good, but some are just really crap. To me. I mean, they probably mean a lot to some people, especially the artist, I guess. But as for me, if I don't see anything in it, I don't appreciate it. I appreciate Picasso. I appreciate even Pollock. But if you're just gonna put up a blank piece of paper, paint a few blocks with colour, lay a metal foil on the floor, I dunno man. But there are some I like. I can't remember what they are. But like everything, perhaps we need crappy things in order to recognize the non-crappy ones. I appreciate Ai Wei Wei's smashing of antiques, to me it's like you don't know what you've got till it's gone. He had to smash it you see, or there wouldn't be any impact. The Jewish Museum was surprisingly pretty interesting. The Holocaust section was sad of course... it always is. But the other part where an artist reinterpreted Jewish customs and rituals was very interesting... like scrolls inside transparent pills. The Neue Gallery was interesting, I saw some stuff by Adolf Loos, like an armchair and a couple of clocks. Very strange, since he was always the Ornament and Crime guy in my head. There's a couple of very intriguing paintings by Otto Dix. Gustav Klimt is really nice, of course. That's something really unique... all the great masters are unique. And beautiful. Not unique and useless. Then this guy called Alfred Kubin did very very nice drawings...

I went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art today. Probably my last stop along the Museum Mile. It's really big. I went to see, first and foremost, Melancolia I by Albrecht Durer. I thought it was there. But as it turned out, it's not on display. So, well, too bad. So I walked around and looked at stuff. I attended the first part of a lecture on the beauty and art of Japanese Samurai swords and armour. I agree that the swords were very very beautiful. Very very beautiful. The cloud-like, wave-like white pattern that forms at the blade, the way the blade is made stronger by heating it red hot then plunging it into icy cold water, that is so powerful. In a lot of ways. BUT, but, even though I appreciate it and I think it's beautiful indeed, the way those aficionados talk about it make me feel a little sick. Like, so cultured, so slick. The way they describe the beauty and art of the sword, the way they admire it like they admire porcelain and pottery. It's not the same, you know. I don't think one ought to look at porcelain and swords in the same way. The sword was used in battle. the Samurai fought and killed each other. I think if we were liviig in Samurai era, and they heard and saw the way those people talked about their swords, in that raspy, soft, cultured, slick and learned way, like an antiques expert, I think the Samurai would cut them down straight away. In a single swing. Perhaps they would even die happy, who knows. It's all very strange to me. I want to say it's all very wrong, but then again who am I to say. That English gentleman with his suit and tie and glasses and cultured tones and excess fat standing there whispering about the beauty of a Samurai sword just doesn't fit. I was all the while imagining him on the battlefield trying to wield his beautiful sword. I couldn't help it. He would die in less than five seconds.

Then I walked around, looking at various European paintings. I was at a Durer gallery when this guy suddenly talked to me, "Hey, look at this" something like that. Then he proceeded to engage me in conversation about a piece where there was a woman tying forget-me-nots and a cat. I didn't even know what a forget-me-not is. And he was like, "isn't the cat interesting? I think it is so interesting." Then I was like "..." I really didn't know what to say, I was trying my best out of politeness and goodwill and happiness that a real person is actually talking to me to see what's so interesting about the cat and what the hell is a forget-me-not, and I was about to comment that yea I think the cat compliments the composition when he asks do I like it? Who did I come to see? I said I came to see Durer, and he was like, oh yea, this is half a Durer! Cos the painting was a Durer imitation of sorts, with his faked signature too. Well, ok, I didn't know what to say still. Then he asked me where I am from, and I said Singapore, etc etc etc and we were talking for about twenty minutes or so, he said he's a history teacher, living in New Jersey because New York is just so cramped, you can't get a garden. He likes gardens. He also likes Central Park. So do I, said I. He says I can go to Central Park tomorrow without a coat cos it's gonna be sunny. Etc etc etc. Then he asked if I went to a lot of Museums here and I said yes pretty much and we started talking about our opinions on modern art then suddenly he made a move like touching my elbow with his hand I have no idea why while he was saying "there was one time I brought a girl to the MoMA and blah blah blah" Why the fuck did you have to do that? When I was in Japan, one day walking in Ueno Park, there was this man who just came up beside me and started talking blah blah blah and I thought ok well I can practise my Japanese, then later on he started touching my elbow and saying "Hey let's go to the pool, let's go to the pool" He meant the lake in the park. He probably wanted to do something. So when he (the one in the museum) did that it just reminded me of that creepy guy in Ueno Park and from that moment on I was feeling uncomfortable. Maybe he didn't mean anything by it, I really don't know. I don't know, ok? I don't understand men. At the end he said he hopes I would be back in New York some time to design some buildings.






"The Penitent Magdalen" So I was looking at this painting by Corrado Giaquinto (I googled it of course no way I can remember this name) then this guy (not the one before) said to me "It's a little dark, isn't it". I didn't say anything, cos I didn't know what he meant. You mean the gallery is a little dark? Then after a while I realized, he probably meant the painting was dark. It did look a little dark... not as in brightness, but like a dark feeling.




So yes, they are the only two people I talked to today.

Until I came home, then the Latino taxi driver asks me "Do you think I am a good guy?" Of course I said yes. You are nice, but don't ask strange questions out of the blue! I didn't say the last part of course.




I hope I get that job.





Last night, I got bitten all over, ok not all over but in a few places, by a mysterious insect. It's itchy, feels like a mosquito bite, but fades faster, and the thing is even though I switched on the lights and waited, there was no sound or trace of a mosquito. So, is it a mosquito or not? It's so annoying. I hope it won't happen again.


....................................................


I read "How to Build a Universe That Doesn't Fall Apart Two Days Later" by Philip K Dick. I also read a lot of his short stories. He's very interesting. He interests me immensely. I feel like saying a lot more about what I think when I read his stuff, especially the one I mentioned, but I don't know how to say it now.

posted by sj @ Monday, November 09, 2009 8:54 AM | permalink |